A-List

> Trolls live in mailboxes. 

> Trolls live in that antique sewing machine box in my parents’ living room. (I get the feeling trolls live in everything I wasn’t supposed to touch as a child.)

> If you press the button to cross the street once, the crossing will activate. If you press the button twice, it will deactivate. (How many times did you press the button, Meg?) 

> “Pedestrian” is a bad word for “poor person.” (My aunt told me the word “pedestrian” meant “a person who walks”; I was confused by alliterative association.)

> You have to lock your doors on road trips because there are men in the forest who attack cars and snatch the children sleeping in the backseat.

> It is illegal to chew gum in movie theatres.

> Similar to number four — the words “menstruation” and “masturbation” are interchangeable. 

> If you step on a rain beetle, it will start raining. (I grew up in Canada’s wettest city, where it rains about 240 days a year; if you stepped on a rain beetle, it probably would start raining.)

> Lumber kilns and pulp mills are cloud-making factories. (How else do clouds get up there?)

> If you don’t eat your dinner, it will go to Africa. (My dad had lived in Africa; this seemed semi-realistic. But I guess Africa is just what my parents called the compost bin.)

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