A-List: Completely attainable* goals for summer

Spend less time on tumblr
Not accomplished.  If a GIF was a person, we’d be married already.

Lead a healthier lifestyle
Not accomplished. Probably shouldn’t have purchased that 24-pack of rocket popsicles from Wal-Mart.

Prepare gourmet meals with quality ingredients
Expectations not yet met. The other night I whipped up a tofu and edamame stir-fry. Mmm, soy.

Deactivate Pinterest account
Not accomplished. But where will I find recipes for chocolate avocado pudding, cauliflower pizza and quinoa muffins?

Experience summer romance
Expectations not yet met. In June, I ran out of flirty emoji combinations to text. I’m now trying to seduce men with my personality.

Lean in
Not accomplished. I went to purchase Sheryl Sandberg’s book on women, work and the will to lead, but it was too expensive. I posted a Facebook status instead.

Read for pleasure
Not accomplished. Ha. I binge-watched season 4 of Arrested Development and then re binge-watched House of Cards. I <3 Francis Underwood.

Strengthen writing
Expectations somewhat met. I wrote this article without any research. Talent, am I right?

Unplug from technology
Complete failure. I’ve realized my biggest fear is dropping my iPhone down a street drain.

 

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