APRIL FOOLS: On the mammoth in the Royal B.C. Museum

by | Mar 28, 2013 | Humour

I experience no greater moment of awe than I do at the feet of the woolly mammoth. This elephantine creature inspires a prehistoric admiration deep within my simian being. The arctic winds he weathered. The tundra he survived. The insurmountable obstacles this great...

A letter from airport security

by | Mar 21, 2013 | Humour

HUMOUR — We have your shampoo. We have your toenail clippers. We have your ski poles, your water guns, your Bic lighters, your aerosols and your meat cleavers. (Really, what were you thinking with the meat cleavers?) Mr. Sampson, we have your Selsun Blue dandruff...
What’s your best worst joke?

What’s your best worst joke?

by | Mar 21, 2013 | Humour

Stephen Jarvie Third year Applied Linguistics What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.   Jenna Purdey Third year Psychology What did the hippocampus say at his retirement speech? Thanks for the memories.   Erin Cotton Second year History and...
The fables of the feces

The fables of the feces

by | Mar 21, 2013 | Features

We apologize for interrupting your news. The following incidents and their consequences are by no means factual. What you are about to read is fictitious and disturbing. But it is not entirely untrue. We refer to these horrific events only as: the fables of the feces....

Sea lions speak up

by | Mar 7, 2013 | Humour

HUMOUR — The sea lions of Race Rocks Ecological Reserve are not happy. In a letter to Victoria’s Mayor Dean Fortin — legible only to UVic’s Earth and Ocean Sciences department — Wolfie the 800-pound bull claimed that tour companies such as Prince of Whales Whale...