Adopting a whole new family history
For years now, I’ve had a pretty standard answer for people who ask me where my family comes from.
“Canada,” I say with a shrug.
I’ve always considered my family history to be boring. There have been no affairs, no heavy drug use, or any other kinds of debauchery — that I know of.
But with the news that Ontario will be opening their previously restricted adoption records, it got me seriously thinking about my family tree.
My mother’s side of the family is from Ontario, and she has always been curious about her mysterious heritage, especially on her adopted mother’s side.
You see, my mother has a suspicion that my grandmother is of Métis descent. This suspicion threw a knot into the perception of my family tree. Who were my biological great-grandparents? Maybe they were famous scientists or simple farmers. When one detail of who you are shifts, the rest tends to come with it.
This little suspicion excited me. Maybe I was more than “just” Canadian. I started to see a Hardy Boys novel buried within this mystifying tale, and so did my mother.
Ever since she saw the notification of adoption records becoming accessible, she has been asking questions and trying to put together the pieces.
The clues started to make sense to her — my grandmother’s black hair and her mysterious past. Then, I naturally started to think that maybe all of this is too much to handle. My real great-grandparents obviously sealed those records for a reason, and maybe it’s not exactly our place to be snooping around in them.
However, a little knowledge is just that — a little knowledge. My mother’s grandparents are long dead, so should their secret die with them?
Come June 2009, my grandmother will be applying to discover the names of her biological parents, and finally the mystery of my past will be solved, or at least will start to unravel.
It’s amazing how one simple thing like an adoption record being accessible can skew everything you thought you knew about who you are.
If you or someone in your family was adopted and born in Ontario, it’s an exciting time to find out more about your past. Familial ties are important to many people, and unsealing the adoption records in Ontario is a move that should be replicated across the country.
6 Comments
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Lisa Sainsbury Nov. 19, 2008, 4:50 p.m.
I really hope that your grandmother and your family will be able to get the information that rightfully belongs to you.
Unfortunately, not everyone will be able to learn their origins as they should, because the law includes a disclosure veto for adoptions that take place before September 1, 2008, and maintains no contact notices for all adoptions registered in Ontario.
http://www.mcss.gov.on.ca/adoptioninfo/index.htm
Lisa Sainsbury Nov. 19, 2008, 4:50 p.m.
I really hope that your grandmother and your family will be able to get the information that rightfully belongs to you.
Unfortunately, not everyone will be able to learn their origins as they should, because the law includes a disclosure veto for adoptions that take place before September 1, 2008, and maintains no contact notices for all adoptions registered in Ontario.
http://www.mcss.gov.on.ca/adoptioninfo/index.htm
Cat Nov. 24, 2008, 7:35 a.m.
Dear Dexter
Please go for your records.
I am reunited with my son - it is the most wonderful thing in the world. He is delighted that he has met all of his siblings.
My son loves sailing - imagine his excitement when he found out that his ancestors were captains of tea clippers. He said that a lot of things really started to make sense to him when he found out his family history.
BTW, adoptees of native descent were often not told of their heritage. Many were even told that they were of French or Italian descent.
I highly recommend you contact the Native Child and Family Services of Toronto who may be able to help you in your search. Native adoptees have some extra resources available to them, including verifying if you are of Metis descent or belong to a tribe.
http://www.nativechild.org/
As for records - they were originally sealed to keep the public from finding out about the adoption rather than the parties to that adoption. For many years, the surname of the mother was on the adoption order which was given to the adoptive parents from day one, so it certainly was not to protect her identity.
Before 1921, adoptions could only occur through an Act of the Ontario Parliament and so they are on public record through Hansard. If your grandmother was adopted before that, you should be able to get her records now through Hansard. Before 1921, there were more guardianships than adoptions, so guardianship records should be checked out through the Ontario Archives as well.
One other terrible bit of history you should be aware of - many native mothers were told that their babies had died at birth - and then the baby would be put up for adoption to a white Christian family. I have come across at least 4 native (Metis) mothers that this has happened to. It is another reason they sealed the records. It was the way the government of the day tried to
christianisethe native people. Things are very different now, so it is more difficult to understand now why these things happened many years ago.I also highly recommend that you join the free Adoption Disclosure registry run by the Ontario government - you may have relatives looking for you. There are free internet reunion sites too such as the Canadian Adoptees Registry which is run by reunited volunteers.
I have learned a lot from searching for and finding my son.
I hope my experience helps you. Good luck - I wish you all the best.
Cat Nov. 24, 2008, 7:35 a.m.
Dear Dexter
Please go for your records.
I am reunited with my son - it is the most wonderful thing in the world. He is delighted that he has met all of his siblings.
My son loves sailing - imagine his excitement when he found out that his ancestors were captains of tea clippers. He said that a lot of things really started to make sense to him when he found out his family history.
BTW, adoptees of native descent were often not told of their heritage. Many were even told that they were of French or Italian descent.
I highly recommend you contact the Native Child and Family Services of Toronto who may be able to help you in your search. Native adoptees have some extra resources available to them, including verifying if you are of Metis descent or belong to a tribe.
http://www.nativechild.org/
As for records - they were originally sealed to keep the public from finding out about the adoption rather than the parties to that adoption. For many years, the surname of the mother was on the adoption order which was given to the adoptive parents from day one, so it certainly was not to protect her identity.
Before 1921, adoptions could only occur through an Act of the Ontario Parliament and so they are on public record through Hansard. If your grandmother was adopted before that, you should be able to get her records now through Hansard. Before 1921, there were more guardianships than adoptions, so guardianship records should be checked out through the Ontario Archives as well.
One other terrible bit of history you should be aware of - many native mothers were told that their babies had died at birth - and then the baby would be put up for adoption to a white Christian family. I have come across at least 4 native (Metis) mothers that this has happened to. It is another reason they sealed the records. It was the way the government of the day tried to
christianisethe native people. Things are very different now, so it is more difficult to understand now why these things happened many years ago.I also highly recommend that you join the free Adoption Disclosure registry run by the Ontario government - you may have relatives looking for you. There are free internet reunion sites too such as the Canadian Adoptees Registry which is run by reunited volunteers.
I have learned a lot from searching for and finding my son.
I hope my experience helps you. Good luck - I wish you all the best.
elaine Nov. 24, 2008, 10:09 p.m.
By all means get the records. Your great grandparents did not
seal the recordsthe law did.Biological parents never had the choice in Ontario of keeping a link with the adopted child. The secrecy was not to protect the biological parents but to protect the adoptive parents.
I became pregnant at the age of 15 before there was any legal abortion in North America. Our school boad did not permit girls who were known to have had a child to return to school. there was no choice the child had to be adopted.
We have recently connected.
She works in the same very specialized professional job which I once had as a young woman. She loves the same authors that my sons who I raised do. She and I watch the same t.v. shows.
Everyone said she would still be in the small town she was born in. I insisted she would be in Toronto as that is where I moved. Of course she was.
We know a lot of the same people who have no idea we are related. She recently met my sister, (who is as close to her in age as I am to her). She doesn't look much like me, but my sister could not get over how her mannerisms match my sons who she has never met.
Biology does not control us but we don't know what our self determination has given us if we don't know what we were born with.
elaine Nov. 24, 2008, 10:09 p.m.
By all means get the records. Your great grandparents did not
seal the recordsthe law did.Biological parents never had the choice in Ontario of keeping a link with the adopted child. The secrecy was not to protect the biological parents but to protect the adoptive parents.
I became pregnant at the age of 15 before there was any legal abortion in North America. Our school boad did not permit girls who were known to have had a child to return to school. there was no choice the child had to be adopted.
We have recently connected.
She works in the same very specialized professional job which I once had as a young woman. She loves the same authors that my sons who I raised do. She and I watch the same t.v. shows.
Everyone said she would still be in the small town she was born in. I insisted she would be in Toronto as that is where I moved. Of course she was.
We know a lot of the same people who have no idea we are related. She recently met my sister, (who is as close to her in age as I am to her). She doesn't look much like me, but my sister could not get over how her mannerisms match my sons who she has never met.
Biology does not control us but we don't know what our self determination has given us if we don't know what we were born with.