The Martlet

I usually have memorable ways of “celebrating” Valentine’s Day.

Once, a fellow unhappily-single friend and I melted down several heart-shaped chocolates, poured them over ice cream and watched Wayne’s World. There is a cynical sense of pride in going stagette on the granddaddy of all non-holidays. Being bitter is better than being lonely.

I always thought it was funny that a greeting card love-fest could spurn me to be so whiny and angry. It took some to realize it was just a reminder of loneliness. And, mostly, how insecure I felt about it.

But what’s the use of getting pissed off or depressed? It only makes the situation worse, as fun as self-pity can be. Besides, getting ticked off at people in relationships is just plain immature.

So, you don’t have someone to shower in pink and red Smarties and wear expensive lingerie for. Who cares? Buy the damn candy for yourself. If nobody but you knows you’ve got lacy undies on under your jeans that day, it still makes you feel pretty and sexy.

Spend more time on your own little indulgences. Use the day as an excuse to spoil yourself a bit.

Let’s not forget the people in your life who deserve more of your love: your best friends, your family, the roommates that have been putting up with your “progressive” music tastes. Give them a hug or two to let them know they are appreciated. If you ever needed an excuse to spend some time with them, this is a good opportunity to do just that.

We don’t need a dozen long-stemmed roses, candlelit dinners and “I LOVE YOU” banners. In the end, these are gestures. They don’t last long. What keeps going is the feeling of care. Show someone you know them and understand them. Making someone feel special is lasting.

So, if you find yourself single on the 14th, it isn’t so bad: maybe you’ll discover some things you never knew you liked about yourself. Let the day be about love in the best way you can find it: friendship.

And, don’t let the day get to you. You’ve got better things to do, like eating pink candy.