The Martlet

Whether it’s your first or fourth year of university, there are exciting new social blunders to be committed, enlightening classes you’ll skip in favour of five more minutes in bed, and such fine dining that you’ll find it on the menu every day of the school year.

But university is not all social faux pas and pork chops; with help you can make it through this year of university unscathed — almost. Just hold this guide tight to your chest, breathe in, close your eyes and envision yourself at the end of the year.

Now stop it. You look stupid. First lesson: don’t close your eyes and breathe heavily. People will think you’re crazy.

The social scene

Whether you’re living on or off campus, university life lends itself to meeting new faces; some cute, some face-meltingly hot. Here are a few tips to help you keep your cool, whether attempting to make an acquaintance, or trying to avoid the stutter that arises when a crush stops to speak to you. Before anything, remember: all of these social tips are useless unless you put yourself out there. Go to classes, Vikes games, resident events and parties — it’s half the fun of university.

Ice breakers

When meeting anyone, look them in the eyes and smile. First impressions are everything, and chances are good the person will remember you as confident and happy.

Second-year UVic student Clay Murphy suggests always carrying gum to any social event or class.

“I don’t even chew gum,” Murphy says, “it’s just a great way to get to know someone.”

A pack of the chewy stuff provides an “in” with almost any character, and can open the conversation to such fruitful topics as favourite gum flavours, brands and, if you’re feeling saucy, packaging.

When going out to a party or around town, carry a lighter. Having a light is a great way to be a hero to smokers, and the practice of shisha is a hit with college students. Just don’t set off any fire alarms.

Deal makers

Carry your cellphone with you at all times. If you meet and make friendly with someone in passing, nothing is worse than losing his or her number.

Remembering a face might be easy, but a name isn’t always so simple. In order to avoid looking like you have early onset Alzheimers, there are a few tricks. If you forget someone’s name, ask them to enter themselves into your phone.

For bonus points, take a quick picture of them and attach it to the contact, thus ensuring a quick compendium of all your newfound acquaintances. Having six different Katies can be a case of social Russian roulette.

When you do make that first call, be sure you do it within an appropriate time period (between 24 and 72 hours of meeting the person) and give them a reason to remember your face.

Invite them to an event with mutual friends if you want the relationship to flourish.

“This guy I know constantly bombards me with texts until I respond,” remarks second-year student Kara Johancsik. “It’s a real turn-off.” That said, a well constructed text focusing on a middle ground may blossom into something more than phone tag.

Deal breakers

The first few months of school are a whirlwind of experimentation, socially and physically. For this reason, try to avoid any serious commitments within the first month of school.

“[If] you came single, be careful who you hook up with in the first few weeks,” warns UVic counsellor Dave O’Brien. “A too-intense fling could damage your first semester.”

That said, if someone you wanted a relationship with in September hasn’t changed by November, then go for it.

On the topic of experimenting, avoid dormcest. Don’t fool around with someone and then their neighbour. It can lead to more drama than you bargained for. But, if you fool around with someone and their neighbour at the same time, high fives all around.

Don’t be a fool, wrap that tool

“Some sexually transmitted diseases can be transmitted without any signs or symptoms,” says Sara Wegwitz, a nurse at UVic’s Jack Petersen Health Centre.

Even if you or your partner are using birth control, don’t leave things to chance. Condoms may be purchased at the Health Center at four for $1.

How to pass the class

Attending class is the catch 22 of university life. There are some people who can go almost an entire semester without attending more than a handful of classes. You are not one of those people.

When to attend

Attend classes that go toward a prerequisite for your major or degree. The classes that you need a better-than-passing grade should be priorities for you.

It’s a good idea to attend classes where “participation” affects a large portion of your grade. Pay attention to that course outline. Test days, as well as the day before, are important days.

When you miss a class

Review what the attendance requirements are for each class. Missing as few as four classes may be enough to merit you an N/A at the end of term, depending on your program, regardless of your actual grade.

Philosophy professor James Young gives out ten pop quizzes throughout the year, and a minimum of seven must be completed to pass his course. Heed such pitfalls.

In any class, have a liaison. Ask someone from your class what you missed, and e-mail or talk to your professor as soon as possible — it’s the best way to catch up and avoid missing anything critical. Suck up the embarrassment; most professors are more than willing to lend a helping hand to even the most hopeless delinquent.

Pass with finesse

Meet deadlines. University is an excellent time to start new habits.

“Don’t change the patterns that work,” suggests UVic student counsellor Grace Wong Sneddon, “[but] the things that you want to do ... do realistically.”

Break bad habits in favour of new ones. There can be substantial penalties for late assignments, to the extent of not receiving a grade. If you have a valid reason for missing a deadline (or a well thought-out excuse) speak to your professor about an extension before the assignment is due.

When you manage to tear yourself away from the TV or Facebook, make sure you put time into the assignments that matter. An assignment worth five per cent of your grade does not merit as much time as an essay worth 25 per cent.

It’s guaranteed that anyone who eats in the cafeteria will become sick of the food in a matter of months. As part of UVic’s food program, students may have a number of points allotted for food from specific food outlets. Be sure to use them accordingly.

Maintaining your meal card

Try to use your food card, not cash, for meals. Going out for the occasional bite at a restaurant is a great change of pace, but it gets expensive quickly. If you do have a food card, it is accepted at the following locations:

Residence Dining Room

Village Greens

Cap’s Bistro

Center Caf’

Village Market

Sweet Greens

Bibliocafe

Fraser Snack Bar

Nibbles and Bytes Bar

Mac’s Bistro

Meal cards are made of a weak type of plastic that enjoys shattering if you look at it the wrong way.

In order to avoid having to pay for a new card and to ensure that you have it on you at all times, buy a plastic card sleeve, or add a few layers of duct tape three to four centimetres from the top of the card and punch a hole through the corner. Besides ensuring your meal card doesn’t break, you can now attach it to your keys. Just make sure the card stripe stays swipeable.

Eat smarter, not harder

After receiving your receipt, pay attention to the balance on your food card. There are helpful signs behind the cashiers in the Residence Dining Room that show how many points you should have on your card each day. If you’re under that number, evaluate what you’re purchasing and what you don’t need. Desserts, sushi, pizza and anything for a group (such as nachos) can drain a food card in no time.

When deciding on a meal plan, consider bumping up to a medium or hearty meal plan. The advantage is that any unused points remaining at the end of the year will be refunded so long as they are worth more than $10. Starter plans don’t have this feature.

Break your belly, not your wallet

When getting food, make sure you pay the points price. Between 7 a.m. and 7 p.m., the Residence Dining Room, Village Greens and Cap’s Bistro all offer points price. All other locations and times charge cash price to your food card, and it adds up quickly.

Go to a nearby supermarket or Village Market and stock up on cereals, sandwich necessities and other simple meal ingredients. Even in the homeliest of dorm rooms, it’s easy enough to construct a sandwich when you get a midnight craving. As well, eating a meal in your room instead of the cafeteria manages to save you money in the long run. If you do run out of food points, recharge your card at the housing office or any food outlet that supports points.

Enjoying yourself

Booze and burgers add up, and the freshman-15 is a constant threat to your waistline and confidence. Besides ensuring your physical health, this section addresses your mental health with answers to questions you didn’t even know you had.

Stay fit

The best way to stay fit is to eat well. To avoid those pounds, avoid the grill and any hearty snacks before bed. Anything greasy or deep fried is bad news for your body, and late night meals won’t be properly digested.

“Have a light snack if you’re absolutely starving,” Wegwitz suggests. “It’s better to eat something than to starve.”

A surprising number of people are chronically dehydrated — often the result of too many carbonated beverages and too little water. When you drink something, try to avoid soft drinks in favour of water or juice. Besides being better for you, you’ll save a fair bit of cash. Not sure how to tell if you’re getting enough fluids?

“You’re urine should always be a pale yellow,” says Wegwitz. “If it’s a dark amber colour, you’re not drinking enough fluids.”

Enlist moderation

The most common mistake new students make is throwing themselves headfirst into university life. Trying to maintain too many friendships, sleeping with too many people, or making too many commitments can lead to anxiety, rocky relationships and, possibly, bad grades. Quality is always more important than quantity.

“Facebook tells us we need to have 300 friends,” says Wong Sneddon, “[but] great friends take a lot of time to make.”

Don’t be afraid to slow down. It’s better not to make a poorly thought out decision because you feel rushed. Everyone remembers the Hindenburg, but few remember it fondly. If there is a problem, face up to it as soon as possible. Figure out what you need to do and do it.

“When you get anxious, clear your head and think it through,” suggests Wong Sneddon. “With anxiety, you overthink, and that’s the problem.”

Have fun

Sometimes, taking a night off of drinking can be just as fun as passing out in the hallway. When the drinking does go down, have a glass of something in your hand so you can participate on group fun. Most people won’t even notice you’re not drinking alcohol.

“There are stats that … the majority of university students and students in [residence] aren’t into the party scene and binge drinking,” notes Wegwitz. She suggests that if you do drink, have a meal, drink plenty of water, avoid drinking games and make sure you and your friends look out for one another.

When the room goes dark and the strobe light cranks up, the room can become a slow-motion play-by-play of your poor dancing skills. There are plenty of simple gestures that are akin to shuffling your feet, but to have the most fun, simply do what feels right on the dance floor.

You can also add dance flair to everyday activities, such as packing or ping pong. If you appear confident in whatever you’re doing, most people won’t know the difference.

Laugh

The best thing for your health, physically and mentally, is to make sure you laugh. Counsellors, nurses and students all agree that it will play out as a huge factor in your well-being. Laugh with those who are laughing at you, and everyone will have a good time. And do the robot. Everyone loves the robot.