The Martlet

Instead of watching “Jizz in my Pants,” “Business Time” and “Sneezing Panda” again, why not watch something with real merit?

Here are five amazing short films that can easily be found online.

Be sure to search for them.

Most of them are approximately 10 to 15 minutes long and are as creative and entertaining as most movies that make it to the big screen.

In God We Trust

Director: Jason Reitman

Jason Reitman’s films Up in the Air, Juno and Thank You For Smoking have all been met with overwhelming commercial and critical success. But before these films, he wrote and directed In God We Trust.

The movie follows Robert, a man who is killed and then judged on whether he goes to Heaven or Hell. It turns out good acts are rewarded with points; bad ones have them taken away. We follow Robert in his last chance for redemption.

The movie is more about having a laugh than teaching a lesson.

The Cat Piano

Director: Ari Gibson and Eddie White

You could have a good argument on what statement The Cat Piano is trying to make (about animal cruelty, music in culture, morality of war), but you shouldn’t.

It’s paced like a tormented Dr. Seuss story being recited over black and blue coloured bohemian animation.

Musician Nick Cave provides the narration of a story that is equal parts chill and chaos. Told from the perspective of an art-loving feline, he uncovers the plans of a shadowy figure who has kidnapped musical cats for his own personal performance.

Since being nominated for an Oscar, audiences have been demanding this win the golden statue. 

We Were Once A Fairy Tale

Director: Spike Jonze

Spike Jonze has made a career of making movies that lie somewhere between the weirdly real and the really weird. Meant to be something between a short film and a music video, this film stars Kanye West playing a skewed version of himself like some sort of guest spot on Entourage.

We follow the rapper around a club one drunken night.

The ending, though strange, is wonderfully acted by West and may be the most telling and saddest side we’ve seen of the superstar.

C’était un rendez-vous

Director: Claude Lelouch

Two of the things guys love is lists and cars. Put the two together, and you can spawn debates that will be argued for years over countless pints.

I’m here to set the record straight. The Greatest Car Chase Of All Time is not found in Bullitt or Gone in 60 Seconds.

It’s right here in C’était un rendez-vous. This movie keeps things simple.

The director mounted a camera to the front of his Mercedes and drove at high speeds around a pre-planned route of Paris. That’s it.

Your perspective stays just inches off the ground with a high-revving Ferrari engine as the soundtrack.

Top speed: 140 km/h, Average speed: 78 km/h, Fruit carts destroyed: 0.

Verdict: Fuckin’ Eh.

Skhizein

Director: Jérémy Clapin

Skhizein contains one of the most creative and masterfully-executed ideas released in a long time.

The basis of this flick is a man who is struck by a meteorite and now lives 91 centimetres from himself.

That’s to say that all of his actions occur 91 centimetres away from his body.

You really do have to see it to fully understand.

It’s animated in a style you’d normally associate with cute Japanese stationary. Where this film really succeeds, though, is how it makes you empathize with the main character.

It’s beautifully sad in a way you may have never experienced. Like the first opening scenes of Wall-E, it’s heartbreakingly wonderful and well worth the watch.