The Martlet

I have special radar for outfits that would look great on other people.

Wouldn’t it be great if we each had a talent for walking into a

clothing store and instantly finding something that looked perfect on us?

Ideally, everything else in the store would turn a dark gray, and the

only things in colour would be things that would suit you.

It would be like the CSI blood finder, but for fashion. Unfortunately, I have no such gift.

In fact, I think I was cursed with the ability to find things that would look outstanding on

someone else.

Doesn’t everyone have that one friend who would always look better in whatever you are trying on?

You know her.

She is the same friend who fits everything that has been knocked down in price to

something crazy, like $2.

While we are stuck swimming in v-necks, or spilling out of jean skirts, she manages to find her size … and the only one in that size.

Or worse, she finds one for you as well — as if you are going to try on the same thing as her.

That’s a real blow to the self-esteem: trying on the same outfit as

your more beautiful friend and standing side by side in the mirror

together.

She’ll always try to say nice things like, “I wish I filled this dress out like you do.”

Umm, yes. How this button splits right open so that my boobs burst out is the effect the designer was trying to achieve.

And the fact that the skirt clings to my thighs and gapes at my stomach like a wrapped

candy is so “in” right now.

A tip: never let this friend borrow your clothes either. I know it

sounds harsh, but once she has been seen in it, that garment will be

forever known as “hers.”

Not that she would steal it, but if you wear it after she has, someone will say, “Isn’t that so-and-so’s top?”

Another type of friend is the one who you rarely shop with, but who

gives you mad style envy anyway.

She will find the most amazing tops, usually something unique and

vintage and make you think to yourself, “This is something so-and-so would wear.”

Because of your envy, you many even decide that you should try it on and see if you can pull it off.

But she (and only she) will always put together the most six-page-spread-worthy ensembles

while looking like she just “threw something on.”

Most would kill for that.

I doubt that anyone looks through racks and thinks, “Trisha could

totally wear this,” but if you do, buy it.

I will pay you back later.