Sept. 10, 1970 — “New nation declares oceanic sovereignty”
It is a little known fact that on September 3, 1970, a few UVic students hailed the birth of a new country. Jeremy Hewitt, spokesperson for the new nation, informed the press that a declaration had been sent to the United Nations to declare the entire ocean “sovereign” to protest those countries who were misusing their ocean resources. The citizens of the sea even had a press conference on board a yacht, where the “booze flowed freely” and lasted all day. Hewitt explained that the organization would have fun while carrying out a deadly serious purpose.
Those interested in joining the new nation would only have to pay for a $7 passport to help support the cause.
Sept. 10, 1981 — “University Improves Your Sex Life”
Ever wonder what kind of crazy research happened in the 1980s? According to the book Beyond the Male Myth by Anthony Pietropinto and Jacqueline Simenauer, males with postgraduate degrees are better lovers. The two authors were going to look further into the subject by finding out which degrees correlated to better performances and which Canadian university had the best orgasms. In a time of declining enrolment in Canadian universities, Pietropinto and Simenauer thought that universities would use this information to entice students. As the author of the Martlet article explained, “These findings point to what could be the only real advantage of a post-degree…” So this is why people become doctors!
Sept. 8, 1988 — “Plan Fills Cavity”
Discussions were beginning to form around the Alma Mater Society (now the UVSS) holding a referendum to issue a student health and dental plan. The AMS would buy the plan from the Canadian Federation of Students if the referendum passed on Oct. 19. The plan cost between $2.24 and $10 per student per month, depending on the amount of coverage. However, the AMS stated that they wanted a strong majority or the society would not approve the plan. As Susanne Klausen affirmed: “We don’t need any lukewarm 51 per cent bullshit.” If only UVSS elections got 51 percent now!