10 things that should have already existed by 2013

A-List Humour

1. Hover-objects

Hoverboats, hover shoes, if it separates my feet from the ground it’d better hover. Sure, in the film Back to the Future Part II, Marty goes to 2015 not 2013, but hover boards were out way before he got there.

2. The Matrix

It is still highly debatable whether or not we are in one right now. If we are in one, at the very least we should have been able to create our own version of it right now—A Matrixception if you will.

3. Holodeck

This should be a given. How am I expected to properly unwind from a hard day’s work without my nightly western shoot-out/hostage simulation?

4. Lightsabers

Sure they would drastically increase lost limbs and natural selection, but they would be super cool.

5. Flying cars

They would probably cause many deaths and injuries as well but, again, super cool.

6. Dehydrated food in pill form

For too long I have been denied the ability to carry a Thanksgiving turkey dinner in my pocket at all times in case of emergency.

7. Contact with other life forms

They helped us with the pyramids but I’m guessing they are waiting until the human race becomes more peaceful to get more chummy. They should just realize it’s not going to happen and make with the space travel secrets already.

8. Robots that can be my friend 

Friends are hard to come by. That’s why I’m waiting until I can download one, but science seems to be taking its sweet time.

9. Moon colonies

Come on, it’s right there in front of us being smug and messing with our tides. We landed on it, we played golf on it, it’s basically ours. Forget about Earth already, it’s clear it’s a lost cause with its obnoxious “warming”; time to move on to better options with less gravity.

10. Soylent Green

I’m not a cannibal. I would just like to have the option. I’m always up for trying new foods.