- As kindling
Big books usually have many pages that are excellent for starting fires in this chilly season. - As a paper weight
Why not use more paper to weight down your other paper? - As decoration
Having a date over? Nothing sets the mood like a biology text book, especially if it’s in mint condition. - Slide one under that uneven table leg
How can you enjoy your reading break if your cereal moves slightly from side to side during breakfast? - Balance them on your head
Now more than ever, society values proper posture. Why waste your time reading? No one will care what you know if you’re a Slouchy Sally. - Look smart at coffee shops
Put a much more interesting book behind it and feel the admiration sweep in. - Crack the spines
Finally, you have time to take part in this guilty pleasure. - Collect dust
Starting a dust collection? Leave your books untouched and let the dust come to you. - Use them for speedy drinking games
Flip to a random page; first one who gets bored takes a shot. - Read them to get ahead of your classes
Disclaimer: This is a joke. For the safety of others and yourself, do not attempt.