A-list: 5 ways to create a concrete relationship with your professors

A-List Humour

With the new semester approaching, it’s important to start off on the right foot. Having a good relationship with your professor is the first step. Here are some easy ways to make sure that you don’t spend the rest of the semester crying quietly into a bag of Doritos due to that awkward run in with your professor.

Give them gifts

Professors are extremely interested in sustainable, reused, local products; get in touch with their barbers and give them a pillow stuffed with their own hair.

Establish dominance

Alpha males get A’s. Buy platform shoes to seem taller and speak in a lower voice than them. Headbutting is also acceptable; just make sure to practise beforehand with your new shoes.

Be memorable

Wear extremely bright clothing, funny hats, or randomly scream your own name in the middle of a lecture.

Close the relationship gap between student and professor

Too many professor-student relationships are distant; lessen that by finding their home address and dropping by unannounced at night. Keep your face warm at night with a ski mask which can be purchased at your local clothing store.

Be extremely friendly

Open doors for them, every day, through every door they attempt to enter. This includes bathroom and car doors. This means clearing your schedule and sleeping in a tent outside their home, but the struggle will be worth it when you receive a positive “Come see me!” on your paper.