> Applying lipstick with your cleavage is an adequate substitute for a personality.

> In the end, nerds don’t get love. Especially not if Molly Ringwald is involved.

> Skipping class requires an elaborate story about a death in the family, a costume and a stolen car. Whatever, Hughes: you obviously didn’t go to public school.

> You can pretend your dandruff is snow and still somehow land a boyfriend.

> It’s fine to make Molly Ringwald your protagonist in every film without changing her personality. Eat your heart out, writing students.

> Opposites attract; we’re also all the same. What was the end message in The Breakfast Club again?

> It’s fine to leave a young Macaulay Culkin home alone. He’ll figure it out.

> Go for the boy who wears a sports coat in high school. He’s rich.

> Never lend your panties to a boy. Should be obvious.  

> With enough charisma, you can overtake a parade float and make an entire city fall in love with you.

> Parents are dense.

> Drama always increases just before summer vacation. Have a good one, UVic.