Achievable New Year’s resolutions

  • Stop stealing neighbour’s Wi-Fi.
  • Work out daily for like a week and a half.
  • Stop talking on the second floor of the library.
  • Use the less familiar of the Student Union Building’s gender-inclusive washrooms.
  • Use fewer toilet paper squares.
  • Brush tongue before bed.
  • Resist using roommate’s milk — except maybe for cereal. And coffee.
  • Refuse to buy the new $7 Starbucks coffee, Costa Rica Finca Palmilera.
  • Look at reflection less often (in car windows, storefronts, etc.).
  • Befriend an American.