Downtrodden folk suffering under rental crisis should try being born into wealth January 13, 2020January 13, 2020 Aaron Stefik In the face of a dire housing crisis, proposed solutions have included encouraging personal financial management, building micro homes, and enacting legislation. Instead, readers should seek to be born into
UVic should hold competitive study events, see who can ruin their health the fastest December 11, 2019December 11, 2019 Aaron Stefik "Being as I lack the stamina and fortitude to compete in the sport of Extreme Exam Periods, I have resolved, unqualified though I am, to compile something of an outline
Health- and planet-conscious students must eat only wild plants, demand vegan gravity December 2, 2019December 2, 2019 Aaron Stefik "The revelation that our unhappy race has inexorably altered our little blue dot of a home-world has prompted all manner of strategies to plot our salvation, including handing over the
University should improve fundraising efforts, shake down students for cash November 14, 2019November 14, 2019 Aaron Stefik How might modern colleges more efficiently, and with a friendly disposition, extract funds from reluctant current and former students? I have at least observed a handful of appropriate methods, some
DEAREST READER | A proclamation of the foundation of the Church of Latter-Day Students October 31, 2019October 31, 2019 Aaron Stefik Some may look dimly on the prospect of conjuring from the æther a new and mortal-centred yet divine doctrine. Nevertheless, I warrant that so long as midterms, finals, essays, and
UVic must expand commercial opportunities, build shopping centre October 4, 2019October 4, 2019 Aaron Stefik "I propose a redoubling of UVic’s attempts to attract corporate interests to the campus, that we may both line our coffers and provide additional shopping experiences to our many prosperous
Dearest Reader | The Age of Consent should be raised to thirty nationwide September 20, 2019September 20, 2019 Aaron Stefik How many countless heartbreaks and uncomfortable, lonely walks along the quad after a furtive late-night tryst has UVic borne witness to? It’s our writers earnest intention that such unpleasantness can
Dearest Reader | We must embrace the bright side of severe climate change September 9, 2019September 9, 2019 Aaron Stefik As the news preoccupies itself with the fires in the Amazon and the growing rate of global warming, let us pause to consider the benefits climate change offers.
