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Dating advice for a galaxy far, far away

December 17, 2015December 17, 2015
Evan Read Armstrong
Dear Abby, I’m writing to you because I’m in the same problem so many women find themselves in. I’m a good girl who’s in love with a bad boy. But not...

The big bang, a.k.a. pigs are bastards

April 3, 2014April 2, 2014
Evan Read Armstrong
Two days ago when I was walking my dog, I got picked up by a woman. As I identify as a heterosexual woman, this threw me for a bit of...

Please and spank you: why being polite in the bedroom is the best decision you’ve never made

March 27, 2014September 12, 2014
Evan Read Armstrong
What is it about bumping uglies that makes some people behave so ugly? As Canadians, we often pride ourselves on being friendly, but more than anything, we pride ourselves on...

First times, alcohol-free

March 13, 2014March 12, 2014
Evan Read Armstrong
There are some things in life you can't do twice. You can't go back to high school and tell yourself not to wear that all-denim outfit on the first day...

‘Snatch Cap,’ and other ways in which technology is ruining the dating world

February 27, 2014March 21, 2014
Evan Read Armstrong
The game has changed, people. Nobody else is saying anything, so I’m taking it upon myself to break the silence and up the ante on dating in 2014, because the...

Let’s talk about sex: Celi—but…

February 6, 2014February 20, 2014
Evan Read Armstrong
Oh, Valentine’s Day. You filthy minx, you. Now, this week’s issue is a tricky one for me, because (unlike the rest of the year) I’m not the only one writing...

‘I hate you, now would you please take off your pants?’

January 23, 2014January 23, 2014
Evan Read Armstrong
Everyone has a pet peeve. Whether it’s chewing with your mouth open or making statements sound like questions? There’s always something that is a major turnoff. Of course, there’re other...

The gloves come off during finals, and everything is fair game

January 9, 2014January 8, 2014
Evan Read Armstrong
My dear readers, A few months ago, in a desperate attempt to save you all from my own past foolish mistakes, I wrote a column advising you against getting freaky with...

If you want to have sex, you will

November 28, 2013November 27, 2013
Evan Read Armstrong
Here’s a fact: you’re going to get laid. It doesn’t matter if you’re a virgin or in a relationship, or even if you’re in the midst of a very long...

Skydiving, having sex with your friends, and other really stupid decisions

November 7, 2013April 24, 2015
Evan Read Armstrong
There are a lot of bad ideas in the world. Like putting a fork in a toaster, or eating a whole pint of ice cream, or starting a meth lab...
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Our paper is written and published on the unceded lands of the Lekwungen peoples, and the Songhees, Esquimalt, and W̱SÁNEĆ peoples whose relationships with this land continue to this day. The Martlet Publishing Society is an incorporated B.C. Society and operates based on our Statement of Principles. We strive to act as an agent of constructive social change and will not publish racist, sexist, homophobic or otherwise oppressive copy.
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