Settlers must go home, initiate Back-to-Europe movement March 4, 2020March 4, 2020 Aaron Stefik In response to the ongoing conflict between provincial authorities and the Wet’suwet’en people, we must find a way to end the effects of North America’s settler invasion. Thus, I present
DEAREST READER | An association must be founded to give voice to dejected single people February 24, 2020February 24, 2020 Aaron Stefik At time of writing, Valentine’s Day has very nearly unleashed itself upon millions of unsuspecting Hallmark recipients. However, today I write not of the chocolate-recipients or Tinder date-goers, but rather
A brief taxonomy of why people raise their hands in class February 24, 2020February 24, 2020 Finn Tobin Students often raise their hands in class, for an assortment of reasons. We offer here a record of our writer’s observations to provide a taxonomy of the phenomenon.
The Martlet’s valentines February 10, 2020February 10, 2020 Martlet Staff Valentine's Day is a time for letting the people in your life know how you feel about them — whether they are your partner, a community radio station, or the
All public bathrooms must be banned to ensure true gender neutrality February 10, 2020February 11, 2020 Aaron Stefik Some have suggested that all washrooms be made equally inclusive. Conversely, I feel that it is only patriotic of me to advocate a stronger solution. In the interest of true
UVic Board of Governors reveals funding fossil fuel companies actually a cure for climate change February 5, 2020February 5, 2020 Emily Fagan After seven long years of hearing the cries for divestment from fossil fuels from students and faculty and many hours of crunching numbers over lunch in the University Club, the
Western nations must train Gen-Z soldiers for the era of meme warfare January 27, 2020January 27, 2020 Aaron Stefik World War III is soon to be upon us, and, make no mistake, will be a different sort of war. Instead of whining about our entitlement or avocado-eating habits, governments
Downtrodden folk suffering under rental crisis should try being born into wealth January 13, 2020January 13, 2020 Aaron Stefik In the face of a dire housing crisis, proposed solutions have included encouraging personal financial management, building micro homes, and enacting legislation. Instead, readers should seek to be born into
UVic should hold competitive study events, see who can ruin their health the fastest December 11, 2019December 11, 2019 Aaron Stefik "Being as I lack the stamina and fortitude to compete in the sport of Extreme Exam Periods, I have resolved, unqualified though I am, to compile something of an outline
Health- and planet-conscious students must eat only wild plants, demand vegan gravity December 2, 2019December 2, 2019 Aaron Stefik "The revelation that our unhappy race has inexorably altered our little blue dot of a home-world has prompted all manner of strategies to plot our salvation, including handing over the
