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Category: A-List

A-List

10 pick-up lines that totally work 100 per cent of the time, every time*

February 6, 2014February 6, 2014
Klara Woldenga
1. “Are you a high priest of the cult of Kali? Because you just tore out my still-beating heart and enslaved my body and soul.” 2. “I’m not a photographer, but I...

10 reasons why you should consider taking a cruise ship home instead of B.C. Ferries

January 16, 2014January 15, 2014
Klara Woldenga
1. Food and drink is included Why pay $22 for a crappy buffet, when you can stuff your face with more shrimp than your stomach can handle? 2. The routes aren’t being...

10 new year’s resolutions and how to easily achieve them

January 9, 2014January 8, 2014
Klara Woldenga
1. Clean out the fridge Buy new fridge on boxing day. Put the old fridge outside next to garbage with a “Free” sign on it. Not only are you being kind...

10 Christmas movies that should never, ever be produced

December 5, 2013December 4, 2013
Kaitlyn Rosenburg
Zooey Deschanel falls in love with a man-child who wears yellow leggings and eats candy for breakfast. An eight-year-old boy spends Christmas Eve as a vigilante, while befriending a creepy old...

10 ways to ace your final papers

November 28, 2013November 29, 2013
Klara Woldenga
1. Put everything off until the very last minute All amazing work is done under intense pressure, loud screaming, and too much coffee. 2. Write drunk, edit sober Although this quote may not...

10 ways to use your textbooks during reading break

November 7, 2013November 21, 2013
Klara Woldenga
As kindling Big books usually have many pages that are excellent for starting fires in this chilly season. As a paper weight Why not use more paper to weight down your other paper? As...

10 ways to know you’re dating a sociopath or possibly a married man*

October 31, 2013October 30, 2013
Shannon K. Auringer
Fifty per cent of your relationship is talking on the phone, 49 per cent is texting, and one per cent is spent physically together. He knows where you live and has...

10 last-minute Halloween costumes

October 24, 2013October 24, 2013
Kaitlyn Rosenburg
Unlike other holidays, Oct. 31 is extremely self-centred. We’re all dressing to impress (or for the ladies, under-dressing) while still remaining culturally relevant. But what’s one to do if Value...

Five ways to appease the midterm gods in this stressful time

October 10, 2013November 7, 2013
Klara Woldenga
1. Sacrifice goat cheese I know they say in order to please the gods you need to sacrifice a whole, live goat, but who can come by that nowadays? Goat cheese...

10 things that should have already existed by 2013

October 3, 2013October 2, 2013
Klara Woldenga
1. Hover-objects Hoverboats, hover shoes, if it separates my feet from the ground it'd better hover. Sure, in the film Back to the Future Part II, Marty goes to 2015 not...
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The Martlet
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University of Victoria
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Our paper is written and published on the unceded lands of the Lekwungen peoples, and the Songhees, Esquimalt, and W̱SÁNEĆ peoples whose relationships with this land continue to this day. The Martlet Publishing Society is an incorporated B.C. Society and operates based on our Statement of Principles. We strive to act as an agent of constructive social change and will not publish racist, sexist, homophobic or otherwise oppressive copy.
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