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Category: Humour

Humour A-List Comics Dearest Reader Spoof Stories | Satire

A-list: 10 ways to spot a tourist

May 8, 2014May 7, 2014
Katlyn Goeujon Mackness
Distinct from Victorians, the tourist is a unique breed of human native to places all over the world. To identify a possible tourist, look closely; they can look a lot...

Sheep are the real heroes

April 3, 2014May 8, 2014
Nicholas Burton-Vulovic
I’ve recently discovered the wonders of what is perhaps fashion’s best-kept secret—the scarf. I’d always dismissed the scarf as a ridiculous gesture toward high fashion, or perhaps an errant nod...

Six ways to ensure you don’t trip before the finish line this semester

April 3, 2014April 2, 2014
Klara Woldenga
1 Don’t sleep Sleep is the enemy; do you really think you do anything productive when you sleep? You don’t have time to lie around all night. Fight back with caffeine pills,...

9 frugal tips for the struggling student

March 27, 2014March 9, 2015
Martlet Staff
With the end of the semester around the corner, many students are finding their wallets so light they need to tie them down. Here are some tips for our struggling...

Japan announces plan to make mascots 30% cuter

March 27, 2014June 13, 2014
Klara Woldenga
HUMOUR—Kazuo Furuya, Japan’s CEO (Cuteness Engineer Operator) has published a report stating Japan’s plan to increase their mascots’ cuteness efficiency by 30 per cent by 2015. Japan is well known...

Fir tree goes to court

March 27, 2014March 27, 2014
Martlet
By Heilman Amos The big fir on the east side of the creek is fed up with tourists calling him old. He promises to fall over on the next bunch of...

People in SUB do things?

March 27, 2014March 27, 2014
Martlet
By Max Power So I saw this guy a while ago? You know, that one guy, with the hair and the shirts? Well, the guy was walking past that place in...
March 27, 2014September 12, 2014
Martlet
CLASSIFIEDS WANTED One free object: Must be roughly two to 10 feet in length. Must be light enough to carry home but heavy enough to harm others. Can be made of any...

Coffee shop opens —serves coffee!

March 27, 2014March 27, 2014
Martlet
By Agnes Elliott Doyle A brand new coffee shop is slated to open in Victoria next week. There is high demand for another one to open, since according to studies the...

UVic prof tells hilarious and original joke—most students laugh, several predictably offended

March 27, 2014March 27, 2014
Martlet
By Neil G. Rayzer UVic Political Science professor Jeffrey Kincaide reportedly told a funny joke to a half-full lecture hall on the Friday prior to Reading Break. Allegedly the professor said:...
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Full articles about both exposures are on our webs Full articles about both exposures are on our website. UVic will not be releasing public information about these cases. 

UVic says they have worked with Island Health to inform some students that they should self-monitor for symptoms and were not considered high risk.
Tuition will go up next year: 💵 Domestic stud Tuition will go up next year: 

💵 Domestic student tuition is going up by 2% 
💵 International student tuition is going up by 3.75% (went up by 20% in 2018, 15% in 2019, and 3.75% in 2020) 

At the meeting, UVic president Kevin Hall called the budget fair and said that the process for determining the budget was transparent. 

Student representatives Juliet Watts and Kate Fairley voted against the budget. 

Full article at the link in our bio.
The Fairy Creek blockades started as an effort to The Fairy Creek blockades started as an effort to save old growth forests. Eight months and nine locations later, a rotating case of forest defenders continue to join those that have been there from day one.

An injunction was served at all camps this morning. The B.C. Supreme Court granted the injunction on April 1 to the logging company Teal-Jones Group. 

For more on this developing story, check out our article at the link in our bio.

Photos and words by @michaeljohnlo
The Province has issued new COVID-19 guidelines fo The Province has issued new COVID-19 guidelines for March 29, 2021. Here is what you need to know.

#covid_19 
#bcpoli 
#pandemic 
#covid
UVSS election results! A full article will be uplo UVSS election results! A full article will be uploaded to our website shortly.
CW - Atlanta shooting | Read the full article by S CW - Atlanta shooting | Read the full article by Senior Staff Writer Michael John Lo on martlet.ca
In one of our latest news articles, we tried to fi In one of our latest news articles, we tried to find out how much UVic is spending on social media. 

UVic recently hired seven new Social Media Ambassadors (SMAs) to help promote UVic on Instagram and TikTok. Each Social Media Ambassador is paid $19.50 an hour and is required to work for five hours or less each week.

The total cost of the new SMA program is covered under UVic’s communications and marketing budget and is included in the approximately $14 600 000 budgeted for external engagement. The seven new SMAs will cost UVic ~$10,920 for a semester. Aside from the SMAs, UVic also spent $63,340 on Facebook, which also owns Instagram, from 2019-2020.

For more on the SMAs and what they do, check out the news article about these new positions on martlet.ca — link in our bio. 

#uvic #victoriabc
Join us on FRIDAY for the UVSS Election Debates!! Join us on FRIDAY for the UVSS Election Debates!! This is a great opportunity to ask candidates your questions directly and get their thoughts on issues that matter to you. 

At the link in our bio, you'll find a form to submit questions and more links to our election coverage where you can learn more about the candidates. 

#uvic #victoriabc
all about the vaccine rollout 🤗 this is a summa all about the vaccine rollout 🤗 this is a summary of the information available on ImmunizeBC.ca and Island Health's website. If you'd like to learn more, check out those sources. 

#uvic #victoriabc

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Our paper is written and published on the unceded lands of the Lekwungen peoples, and the Songhees, Esquimalt, and W̱SÁNEĆ peoples whose relationships with this land continue to this day. The Martlet Publishing Society is an incorporated B.C. Society and operates based on our Statement of Principles. We strive to act as an agent of constructive social change and will not publish racist, sexist, homophobic or otherwise oppressive copy.
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