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Category: Humour

Humour A-List Comics Dearest Reader Spoof Stories | Satire

DEAREST READER | An association must be founded to give voice to dejected single people

February 24, 2020February 24, 2020
Aaron Stefik
At time of writing, Valentine’s Day has very nearly unleashed itself upon millions of unsuspecting Hallmark recipients. However, today I write not of the chocolate-recipients or Tinder date-goers, but rather

A brief taxonomy of why people raise their hands in class

February 24, 2020February 24, 2020
Finn Tobin
Students often raise their hands in class, for an assortment of reasons. We offer here a record of our writer’s observations to provide a taxonomy of the phenomenon.

The Martlet’s valentines

February 10, 2020February 10, 2020
Martlet Staff
Valentine's Day is a time for letting the people in your life know how you feel about them — whether they are your partner, a community radio station, or the

All public bathrooms must be banned to ensure true gender neutrality

February 10, 2020February 11, 2020
Aaron Stefik
Some have suggested that all washrooms be made equally inclusive. Conversely, I feel that it is only patriotic of me to advocate a stronger solution. In the interest of true

UVic Board of Governors reveals funding fossil fuel companies actually a cure for climate change

February 5, 2020February 5, 2020
Emily Fagan
After seven long years of hearing the cries for divestment from fossil fuels from students and faculty and many hours of crunching numbers over lunch in the University Club, the

Western nations must train Gen-Z soldiers for the era of meme warfare

January 27, 2020January 27, 2020
Aaron Stefik
World War III is soon to be upon us, and, make no mistake, will be a different sort of war. Instead of whining about our entitlement or avocado-eating habits, governments

Downtrodden folk suffering under rental crisis should try being born into wealth

January 13, 2020January 13, 2020
Aaron Stefik
In the face of a dire housing crisis, proposed solutions have included encouraging personal financial management, building micro homes, and enacting legislation. Instead, readers should seek to be born into

UVic should hold competitive study events, see who can ruin their health the fastest

December 11, 2019December 11, 2019
Aaron Stefik
"Being as I lack the stamina and fortitude to compete in the sport of Extreme Exam Periods, I have resolved, unqualified though I am, to compile something of an outline

Health- and planet-conscious students must eat only wild plants, demand vegan gravity

December 2, 2019December 2, 2019
Aaron Stefik
"The revelation that our unhappy race has inexorably altered our little blue dot of a home-world has prompted all manner of strategies to plot our salvation, including handing over the

University should improve fundraising efforts, shake down students for cash

November 14, 2019November 14, 2019
Aaron Stefik
How might modern colleges more efficiently, and with a friendly disposition, extract funds from reluctant current and former students? I have at least observed a handful of appropriate methods, some
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In our latest issue, Senior Staff Writer Chris Dri In our latest issue, Senior Staff Writer Chris Driscoll admits that he wishes he would've written more for the Martlet during his degree. Chris says that anyone can write for the Martlet and encourages other students to do so. 

"By pushing outside my comfort zone in the world of journalism, I found myself engaging with communities outside the world of the arts that shared very similar bonds and passions to those I’d found in my culture work. I got the opportunity to help amplify individuals’ voices and play a role, even if minor, in bringing attention to the incredible communities we have here in Victoria.

For me, that’s what being a journalist is all about. As student journalists, first and foremost, our aim is to keep the student population aware of what’s going on around them. But we also play an important role in strengthening community bonds and sharing community stories."

Photo by Michael John Lo

If you're interested in writing for the Martlet, subscribe to the Martlet's newsletter in our bio or DM us! 

#uvic #victoriabc
President Kevin Hall is looking to get student's i President Kevin Hall is looking to get student's input through two town halls and a Reddit AMA. For the full story and details on how to register, head to the link in our bio. #uvic #victoriabc! Correction:March 11 is for undergrads, the dates were accidentally swapped in the creation of this post and we regret the error
Fashion is a massive industry — it employs one i Fashion is a massive industry — it employs one in six people worldwide. But according to Fashion Checker, 93 per cent of brands don't pay their workers a living wage. 

Through thrifting, some UVic students are learning to appreciate the treasure hunt that comes with combing through rows of second-hand clothes. 

For our feature this issue, we spoke to UVic students about why they love thrifting and why they've decided to kick fast fashion to the curb. 

For the full article, head to the link in our bio.
Senior Staff Writer Alexandra Mehl wrote an explai Senior Staff Writer Alexandra Mehl wrote an explainer article about contraception options for the sex and gender issue. 

When it comes to contraception, educating yourself about your options and advocating for your health care is key. In the article (link in bio), we offer more information, quotes from health care practitioners, and links to more resources. 

#uvic #victoriabc
Here's a little teaser of our sex and gender issue Here's a little teaser of our sex and gender issue...swipe to flip through! Free copies are available throughout campus or at one of our boxes downtown. 💟 PS cover by @siemingly, photo by @julianasech_

!1. Q+A with poet @jaye_simpson by @christopherdriscoll 
2. fine arts students say their art, which involves nudity, is being removed by instagram by @michaeljohnlo 
+ a powerful reflection on drag by Annie Konstantinova 
3. Our feature! By @christopherdriscoll and @kileyverb.docx - looks at gender identity and expression in the context of COVID-19 
4. An article on the asexuality spectrum by Jodie Brady-Quinton and one on the types of birth control by Ally Mehl
5. Last but certainly not least, @christopherdriscoll discusses the importance of queer venues 

#uvic #victoriabc
Issue 11 of Vol. 73 of the Martlet is coming out t Issue 11 of Vol. 73 of the Martlet is coming out tomorrow. We've got stories on queer pubs, birth control, Victoria Film Fest, and profiles on community organizations and individuals like jaye simpson.

Read it all on martlet.ca

#yyj
#Victoria
#UVic
Some excerpts from an op-ed in our latest Indigeno Some excerpts from an op-ed in our latest Indigenous issue with @uvicnsu — the full article is live on our website. All photos and words by Amy Nichols.
BREAKING - UVic has moved $80M from the working ca BREAKING - UVic has moved $80M from the working capital fund to a short-term bond. This means that the $225M working capital fund is now free of any fossil fuel investments.

For more on UVic's investment, check out our last explainer post. A full article about the announcement will be posted soon.
In collaboration with @uvicnsu, we've created the In collaboration with @uvicnsu, we've created the Indigenous-focussed issue — a collection of eight articles authored by Indigenous writers and edited by @bostonlaferte. The cover art was also done by an Indigenous artist. Thank you to everyone that poured their time, work, and words into this project. 

If you'd like to pick up a copy, they're available for free at: 
-campus news boxes in the SUB, Clearihue, etc. 
-the intersection of Michigan and Government 
-the intersection of Fort and Blanshard 
-outside of the Oak Bay Discovery 
-Cook St, near Prima Strada 
-most Thrifty's locations 
-Munro's books 
-Union Pacific 
-intersection of Niagara and Menzies 
+ many more (send us a pic if you spot a Martlet in the wild!) 

#victoriabc #yyj #indigenousart

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Our paper is written and published on the unceded lands of the Lekwungen peoples, and the Songhees, Esquimalt, and W̱SÁNEĆ peoples whose relationships with this land continue to this day. The Martlet Publishing Society is an incorporated B.C. Society and operates based on our Statement of Principles. We strive to act as an agent of constructive social change and will not publish racist, sexist, homophobic or otherwise oppressive copy.
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