Ford stupored, remains mayor March 27, 2014March 27, 2014 Martlet By Gaberaham Lunncoln Toronto Mayor Rob Ford was found this past week to be acting in a ludicrous manner in the presence of the media and all those wielding iPhones. Seen in...
Lone banjo player plays music downtown sometimes March 27, 2014March 27, 2014 Martlet By Bro Tears A man with a banjo was seen singing something on a street downtown last Tuesday at around noonish. It was folk music, or something alternative, and it was...
Briefs: the silent killer!!!1! March 27, 2014March 27, 2014 Martlet By Adam Gooddayman Scientists have finally gathered enough information to confirm a long-held hypothesis that briefs, or “tighty whities,” are, in fact, deadly. “Let’s start off with the waistband,” said Chief Brief...
UVSS bans itself from the SUB March 27, 2014March 27, 2014 Martlet By Neil G. Rayzer In an effort to be taken more seriously by students, the UVSS voted unanimously to ban itself from the SUB. An unnamed interim representative was quoted as...
Some club does something March 27, 2014March 27, 2014 Martlet By Wallace Staples A UVic club that re-creates past events has received disciplinary action for their refusal to acknowledge that, despite the inclusion of a famous author’s book series and subsequent...
Young man talks to senior in locker room; senior uncomfortable March 27, 2014March 27, 2014 Martlet By Neil G. Rayzer A local student has been reported as speaking unsolicited to an area senior in the change room of a local gym. According to sources, the elderly man,...
Bros are not “Stoked on the Oldies” March 27, 2014March 27, 2014 Martlet By Steezy Zeezy Three bros have denied their alleged involvement in a charity for elderly veterans called “Stoked on Oldies”. Their legal counsel Ben Dover stated, “My clients unequivocally deny the...
Man discovers lost Aztec treasure – becomes queen March 27, 2014March 27, 2014 Martlet By Someone Vancouver, B.C. — A local B.C. man has stumbled upon the discovery of a lifetime. Outside the back porch of his modest Georgian estate in North Surrey, Franklin Harrow...
Cookies are good!!! March 27, 2014March 27, 2014 Martlet By PJ Zap OMG, I just love cookies! Don’t you? They’re so good, right? Some have raisins or chocolate and some don’t, but then they have other stuff. Well, maybe they...
Man invents something March 27, 2014March 27, 2014 William Workman By Trik Jones Sometime in the past month, a guy in a North American city invented something. After a full decade of work, this guy produced a small gray tube-like device....
