The University of Victoria's independent newspaper

  • News
  • Opinions
  • Features
  • Culture
  • Sports | Lifestyle
  • Humour
  • Subscribe

Category: Humour

Humour A-List Comics Dearest Reader Spoof Stories | Satire

B.C. Transit bus arrives on time, citizens of Victoria shocked

March 20, 2014March 24, 2014
Katlyn Goeujon Mackness
HUMOUR—As the sun was just shedding its morning rays on Victoria, second-year UVic student Pelty Grables arrived at her bus stop on McKenzie Avenue. A few other bus riders stood...

How to make sure spring is here to stay

March 20, 2014March 19, 2014
Klara Woldenga
Spring is a tricky season to keep around; with a little group effort, we can work together to make sure that spring isn’t going anywhere. Make sure you have the proper...

10 important lessons learned smoking the green stuff

March 13, 2014March 12, 2014
Klara Woldenga
Taco Bell. It’s more than a lesson—it’s a taco. Thirty minutes is an excruciating long time to wait for pizza to be delivered to your home and is best done with...

B.C. government plans for solar panel farms on soon-to-be-desolate Alberta province

March 13, 2014March 12, 2014
Klara Woldenga
Although the recent information on the Alberta oilsands leaking toxic chemicals into the surrounding water may be bad news for some, it seems to be a silver lining for others....

The harrowing shock of McKinnon gym

March 6, 2014March 5, 2014
Regan Shrumm
HUMOUR—At approximately 5 p.m. Feb. 1, horror struck second-year psychology major Alex Ferguson. “I was feeling restless and wanted to work out that night. I have always gone to Ian Stewart,...

A-list: what the calendar months should actually be called

March 6, 2014March 13, 2014
Katlyn Goeujon Mackness
January is now Blanduary Because nothing really happens. You tell yourself that you will be a good person after New Year’s and then slowly fizzle into being a schlub once again. February...

This week’s horoscopes

February 20, 2014February 20, 2014
Shandi Shiach
Aries March 21–April 20 B.C. liquor laws just changed, making your access to alcohol easier. I thought that information would be less likely to make you drink than your horoscope. You’re...

Scientific breakthrough on fart-blame transferral methods

February 20, 2014February 20, 2014
Ryan Ziegler
HUMOUR—A new ground-breaking study from the Canadian Research Alliance Project shows that those who smell gas in a social setting are, in fact, responsible for its onset. The study reports...

Google launches new Google Glass beta feature, Date+, to celebrate Valentine’s Day

February 6, 2014February 6, 2014
Klara Woldenga
HUMOUR—At Google’s press conference yesterday, Google’s CEO, Larry Page, announced that, in celebration of Valentine’s Day, beta customers who are also partners with each other and each have a Google...

10 pick-up lines that totally work 100 per cent of the time, every time*

February 6, 2014February 6, 2014
Klara Woldenga
1. “Are you a high priest of the cult of Kali? Because you just tore out my still-beating heart and enslaved my body and soul.” 2. “I’m not a photographer, but I...
Page 21 of 34« First«...10...1920212223...30...»Last »

Subscribe to the Martlet

THE MARTLET ON INSTAGRAM

The UVic foundation invests in Disney, Nike, and L The UVic foundation invests in Disney, Nike, and L'Oreal ..... and also Teck, Imperial Oil, and Husky 💰💰💰💰 #uvic #victoriabc #divestuvic
Bernie's mittens > all other news today creds to Bernie's mittens > all other news today 

creds to Martlet design director @siemingly
Kwakwaka'wakw and Nuu-chah-nulth graffiti artist P Kwakwaka'wakw and Nuu-chah-nulth graffiti artist PNDN has been bringing Indigenous art to the streets of Victoria since 2017. In response to what he sees a a critical lack of Indigenous public art, this is PNDN's attempt to "decolonize the streets." 

Full story at the link in our bio.
We are looking to expand our nest! Please share th We are looking to expand our nest! Please share this with people you think might be interested. #victoriabc
UVic released the results from their survey. Head UVic released the results from their survey. Head to the link in our bio for the full article, and keep following the Martlet to be in the know about all things UVic. #victoriabc #uvic
go get that 💵 (if you qualify) You guys have go get that 💵 (if you qualify) 

You guys have been loving these explainer posts so our editor, @kate.korte, put this one together. 😊 
Want more of the latest news + helpful tips for UVic students? Give us a follow and subscribe to our newsletter at martlet.ca/subscribe
🗞️ The Martlet's Top Photos of 2020 🗞️ F 🗞️ The Martlet's Top Photos of 2020 🗞️ Find more photos + links to the articles that accompanied them on our website. 

1. Former UVic President Jamie Cassels leads the Board of Governors through a crowd of Divest protestors in January, at the meeting where they passed the responsible investment policy. Photo by Josh Ngenda. 

2. On March 5, five Indigenous Youth for Wet'suwet'en were arrested at the legislature. In this photo, some of the Indigenous Youth and their supporters are surrounding a police car. Photo by Mike Graeme.

3. A playground in summer 2020. Photo by Josh Ngenda. 

4. 9 000 people gathered in Centennial Square for a Black Lives Matter Peace Rally. Photo by Michael John Lo. 

5. Saanich Police shut down a gathering on campus during the first week of classes. Photo by Michael John Lo. 

6. A protestor at a Moms Stop the Harm rally in October calls for more government action as overdose deaths spiked. Photo by Kiley Verbowski.
🗞️ full story at the link in our bio 🗞️# 🗞️ full story at the link in our bio 🗞️#uvic #victoriabc According to UVic, "the health authority has reached out to us about the availability of freezers to be moved to an off-campus location and we’re working with Island Health on this request."
Here's a sample from EP 4 - Laura sits down to tal Here's a sample from EP 4 - Laura sits down to talk with Mary, who recently collaborated with Alec on an article about how UVic students and proffesors have handled the online semester. 

🎙️ listen to the latest episode of the Martlet Pod available wherever you get your podcasts 🎙️ 

As always, thanks to @cfuv for making this project possible.

@TheMartlet

Tweets by TheMartlet
  • News
  • Opinions
  • Features
  • Culture
  • Sports | Lifestyle
  • Humour
  • Subscribe

Courier

The Martlet
Student Union Building
Room B011
University of Victoria
3700 Finnerty Road
Victoria, B.C.
V8W 5C2
 

Staff Contacts

Editor-in-Chief
Kate Korte
edit@martlet.ca

Business Manager
Draven Clemah
business@martlet.ca

Mailing

The Martlet
PO BOX 3035
University of Victoria
Victoria, B.C.
V8W 3P3

Phone

Newsroom
1.250.721.8361

Ads | Business 
1.250.721.8359
ads@martlet.ca

Our paper is written and published on the unceded lands of the Lekwungen peoples, and the Songhees, Esquimalt, and W̱SÁNEĆ peoples whose relationships with this land continue to this day. The Martlet Publishing Society is an incorporated B.C. Society and operates based on our Statement of Principles. We strive to act as an agent of constructive social change and will not publish racist, sexist, homophobic or otherwise oppressive copy.
© Copyright Martlet Publishing Society
  • About
  • The Martlet’s Pitching Guide
  • Community Support Map
  • Advertising
  • Get Involved
  • Jobs
  • Contact
  • PDF Edition
  • Subscribe
  • News
  • Opinions
  • Culture
  • Features
  • SPORTS & LIFESTYLE
  • Humour