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Category: Humour

Humour A-List Comics Dearest Reader Spoof Stories | Satire

Elon Musk vows to tackle Canada–US relations

July 19, 2018July 19, 2018
Marshall Scott-Bigsby
Canadian pop-art musician Grimes is expected to aid Musk in the coming discussions Elon Musk, the uncle of Peter Thiel, has gained something a cult following in the past few years...

Canada Day voted best national holiday by Settlers’ Magazine

July 1, 2018July 1, 2018
Martlet Staff
Finally, our country made it onto a list that has nothing to do with drinking water advisories Settlers’ Magazine, a publishing organization known for their motto, “Well I think the border...

Clam calamity

May 22, 2018
Sarah Mayer and Marshall Scott-Bigsby
The Martlet reaches out to marine life in Victoria poisoned by SSRIs and other medications We have all heard the saying “happy as a clam,” but we could never really measure...

Now I am become bees, destroyer of clock

May 19, 2018May 15, 2018
Marshall Scott-Bigsby
Tick-tock, Jamie Cassels. Tick. Tock. Clearihue Clock was first installed in 1963, when the building was unveiled to the public. Nowadays, students might not notice the clock because they have one...

The BC Ferries survival handbook

April 23, 2018April 25, 2018
Marshall Scott-Bigsby
How to make the most of your hour-and-a-half boat ride It’s that time of year again — students are soon to find themselves soliciting services from an organization that every Vancouver Island uncle refers...

Prof actually gets video playing from laptop on first try

April 1, 2018April 2, 2018
Cormac O’Brien
"The sound worked and everything," says stunned student For the students in ECON 214 on the morning of March 28, 2018, the situation was a familiar one. Professor Seth Delaney had...

Exposé: UVSS finds alternative source of income by running underground petting zoos

February 26, 2018
Marshall Scott-Bigsby
The 2017 election for the UVSS was an eternity ago. There’s no practical reason for anyone to remember the campaign promises made so long ago. However, I do. One campaign...

5 ways to make your man think you’re a goddess in bed

February 18, 2018February 7, 2018
Jenna MacNeily
(According to the patriarchy) 1. Always be excited and ready to have sex whenever your man wants it . . . But don’t have a sex drive of your own The first step to pleasing your...

A Martlet-themed Valentine’s Day film like every other

February 13, 2018February 7, 2018
Marshall Scott-Bigsby
Adapted from the erotic version The sun sets over a quiet campus. Finals season and shorter days are the perfect combination to encourage students to go back to their homes and...

The Martlet’s 2018 News Headlines

January 28, 2018January 28, 2018
Marshall Scott-Bigsby
There are few outside of the inner Martlet circles that are aware of this, but the Martlet has every article pre-written by a discount psychic. They then publish them over...
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Fashion is a massive industry — it employs one i Fashion is a massive industry — it employs one in six people worldwide. But according to Fashion Checker, 93 per cent of brands don't pay their workers a living wage. 

Through thrifting, some UVic students are learning to appreciate the treasure hunt that comes with combing through rows of second-hand clothes. 

For our feature this issue, we spoke to UVic students about why they love thrifting and why they've decided to kick fast fashion to the curb. 

For the full article, head to the link in our bio.
Senior Staff Writer Alexandra Mehl wrote an explai Senior Staff Writer Alexandra Mehl wrote an explainer article about contraception options for the sex and gender issue. 

When it comes to contraception, educating yourself about your options and advocating for your health care is key. In the article (link in bio), we offer more information, quotes from health care practitioners, and links to more resources. 

#uvic #victoriabc
Here's a little teaser of our sex and gender issue Here's a little teaser of our sex and gender issue...swipe to flip through! Free copies are available throughout campus or at one of our boxes downtown. 💟 PS cover by @siemingly, photo by @julianasech_

!1. Q+A with poet @jaye_simpson by @christopherdriscoll 
2. fine arts students say their art, which involves nudity, is being removed by instagram by @michaeljohnlo 
+ a powerful reflection on drag by Annie Konstantinova 
3. Our feature! By @christopherdriscoll and @kileyverb.docx - looks at gender identity and expression in the context of COVID-19 
4. An article on the asexuality spectrum by Jodie Brady-Quinton and one on the types of birth control by Ally Mehl
5. Last but certainly not least, @christopherdriscoll discusses the importance of queer venues 

#uvic #victoriabc
Issue 11 of Vol. 73 of the Martlet is coming out t Issue 11 of Vol. 73 of the Martlet is coming out tomorrow. We've got stories on queer pubs, birth control, Victoria Film Fest, and profiles on community organizations and individuals like jaye simpson.

Read it all on martlet.ca

#yyj
#Victoria
#UVic
Some excerpts from an op-ed in our latest Indigeno Some excerpts from an op-ed in our latest Indigenous issue with @uvicnsu — the full article is live on our website. All photos and words by Amy Nichols.
BREAKING - UVic has moved $80M from the working ca BREAKING - UVic has moved $80M from the working capital fund to a short-term bond. This means that the $225M working capital fund is now free of any fossil fuel investments.

For more on UVic's investment, check out our last explainer post. A full article about the announcement will be posted soon.
In collaboration with @uvicnsu, we've created the In collaboration with @uvicnsu, we've created the Indigenous-focussed issue — a collection of eight articles authored by Indigenous writers and edited by @bostonlaferte. The cover art was also done by an Indigenous artist. Thank you to everyone that poured their time, work, and words into this project. 

If you'd like to pick up a copy, they're available for free at: 
-campus news boxes in the SUB, Clearihue, etc. 
-the intersection of Michigan and Government 
-the intersection of Fort and Blanshard 
-outside of the Oak Bay Discovery 
-Cook St, near Prima Strada 
-most Thrifty's locations 
-Munro's books 
-Union Pacific 
-intersection of Niagara and Menzies 
+ many more (send us a pic if you spot a Martlet in the wild!) 

#victoriabc #yyj #indigenousart
Next Friday at 7pm - Join two Martlet hosts and si Next Friday at 7pm - Join two Martlet hosts and six local journalists for a conversation. We'll chat with them about what it's like to be a journalist during a pandemic and some of the things 2020 has taught them. If you're interested in journalism or learning more about careers in journalism, this is a great event for you! 

Journalists from Capital Daily, CHEK, the Times Colonist, BC Today, and the Tyee will be ready to answer all your Qs. 

Get your tickets now before they sell out! Link in our bio to the Eventbrite. 
#uvic #victoriabc #yyj #yyjbusiness #yyjevents
The UVic foundation invests in Disney, Nike, and L The UVic foundation invests in Disney, Nike, and L'Oreal ..... and also Teck, Imperial Oil, and Husky 💰💰💰💰 #uvic #victoriabc #divestuvic

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