Stories | Satire

CARSA finally not open, UVic announces

The Centre for Athletics, Recreation and Special Abilities (CARSA), originally slated for a Fall 2013 launch, was finally not unveiled at a ceremony last Thursday.

Low oil prices hurt everyone

Because of the talk surrounding the price of oil hurting Fort McMurray’s economy—and the rest of Alberta as a whole—I decided to get a first-hand perspective. I recently talked with…

Man realizes childhood dream of becoming fire engine

Jeremy Trutch, 37, recently gave up his career as a financial planner to become a full-time fire truck. “It’s a dream come true,” Trutch said.

Illegalize catnip

Dog enjoy simple things. Food. Human. Food. Belly rubs. Food. Dog friend to Human if food involved. Dog sit for food, Dog lay down for food. Point is, Dog work…

Researchers in bullying study unsure why they’re hitting themselves

This week, a team of Canadian psychologists published results from a study made to determine the root motives behind those who bully others. “

Don’t play the name game

So I forgot your name. Is it really that big of a deal? I mean the first time we met at Jackie’s party—let’s face it—we were both drunk. I’m surprised…

The 10 best mustaches in history

Note: This list adheres to a strict “No Dictators” policy It is that time of year again where a ton of guys in your classes start to look like they…

$5 million renos to compensate for smartphone use in washrooms

HUMOUR—After years of increasing line-ups for washrooms all over campus, UVic has announced plans to double the number of washroom stalls available in every building. In a highly anticipated news…

Zombie support group

“Humans seem to forget that zombies are people too, we’re just undead.

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