Roommate confessions

Op-eds Opinions


Going into each of the four washrooms on your floor and each of the four washrooms on the floor below only to find puke clogging seven out of the eight toilets . . . Is that #ResLife? Tower 2012, I miss you.

The Cat Attacked

A few years back I lived with two ladies and a male cat we rescued from Port Renfrew named Malachi. Malachi is what you would call a ‘heat seeker,’ and as the only male roommate of the house, he was very protective of his ladies. He knew without a doubt he was the alpha male. One night when my old boyfriend was sleeping over, we fell asleep with Malachi nested tightly between our legs. I was awoken at some ungodly hour, covers pulled off, and boyfriend yelling. Apparently, Malachi’s heat-seeking nature combined with his feline testosterone. My boyfriend awoke to Malachi pawing his family jewels, claws out. This was not the only account. My roommates’ boyfriends had been assaulted by Malachi as well. He was notorious for sneaking in our rooms late at night to besiege some balls. Perhaps he was perverted, but maybe he just missed his own family jewels, and I couldn’t blame him for that.

Amy Smith (graphic)
Amy Smith (graphic)