Some club does something


By Wallace Staples

A UVic club that re-creates past events has received disciplinary action for their refusal to acknowledge that, despite the inclusion of a famous author’s book series and subsequent celluloid reproductions in the university’s history curriculum, the scenarios are not a depiction of historical events. Because of this, their disruptive re-creations are not due to a duty to honour the memory of the original participants.

The conflict is with some people who put themselves in charge of making sure nobody causes trouble on campus, who note one incident in particular as the point at which they had to take action. Sam Wood, a person of greater importance among the people in charge of making sure nobody causes trouble on campus, says, “It all became too much when a couple of people dressed in flowing hooded cloth spent several days scaling the oddly shaped bump near the campus sustenance outlet named after the tubed noodle portion of a common food made of noodles and solid orange milk product.” According to Wood, not only was the scaling of the object distracting other school-going people but those scaling the bump appeared to be in distress and rambling about getting a circular metal object to the top to drop in what the people referred to as a volcano that’s name brought about negative implications.

The people in charge of making sure nobody causes trouble on campus grew more concerned when the club appeared to be branching out into re-creating an actual historical event, when they were seen tossing smaller school-going people across the circular paved roadway on campus. The concern was that participants were now re-creating the less-than-wholesome celluloid reproduction about the canine of a financial district, which starred that actor named after a famous painter. It was discovered with very little relief that the club was, in fact, again re-creating scenes from the celluloid recreation of the book series.

The department for the people in charge of making sure nobody causes trouble on campus also received a record number of complaints in recent weeks because of the actions of the club. One member of the club blocked access to morning sustenance, saying that the other school-going people would not make it past him. The blockade set up in order for some members of the club to have second early-day sustenance, which greatly irritated the other school-going people who had yet to have first early-day sustenance. Wood says, “It has just been a huge disruption. Something had to be done. School-going people must be able to go about their day without fear of being tossed or denied their early day sustenance.”