satire

University scraps UVic Edge; launches UVic Go

  Inspired by the explosive popularity of Pokémon Go, a new mobile app where users catch Pokémon that has taken the world by storm, UVic announced today that it will…

There’s fashionably late—and then there’s American Thanksgiving

American Thanksgiving makes no sense. Now, before any Americans get all up in their right to bear arms and try to shoot me through the head with their grandmother’s shotgun,…

5 barbaric cultural practices worth tattling on your peers for

If the Conservatives had gotten their way on Oct. 19, the RCMP would be answering your grandma’s calls about her neighbour’s rap music right now via the barbaric cultural practices…

Drunkards maintain reasonable volume on public transit

A group of clearly intoxicated college-aged men were observed on the 14 bus Wednesday night conver-sing at a decibel level much lower than would typically be expected after having several…

CARSA finally not open, UVic announces

The Centre for Athletics, Recreation and Special Abilities (CARSA), originally slated for a Fall 2013 launch, was finally not unveiled at a ceremony last Thursday.

Low oil prices hurt everyone

Because of the talk surrounding the price of oil hurting Fort McMurray’s economy—and the rest of Alberta as a whole—I decided to get a first-hand perspective. I recently talked with…

Man realizes childhood dream of becoming fire engine

Jeremy Trutch, 37, recently gave up his career as a financial planner to become a full-time fire truck. “It’s a dream come true,” Trutch said.

Illegalize catnip

Dog enjoy simple things. Food. Human. Food. Belly rubs. Food. Dog friend to Human if food involved. Dog sit for food, Dog lay down for food. Point is, Dog work…

Researchers in bullying study unsure why they’re hitting themselves

This week, a team of Canadian psychologists published results from a study made to determine the root motives behind those who bully others. “