The gloves come off during finals, and everything is fair game

Lifestyle Sports | Lifestyle

My dear readers,

A few months ago, in a desperate attempt to save you all from my own past foolish mistakes, I wrote a column advising you against getting freaky with your classmates. As it turns out, I was wrong. Sort of. See, three months ago, I was trying to deter awkward sorry-I-saw-your-orgasm-now-can-I-borrow-your-notes conversations. However, I now realize that there is a way to have your study buddy and eat them too.

The one stipulation to my hard-and-fast rule about not having it hard-and-fast with a classmate is this: the exam period. In my last article, I neglected to mention what happens during finals. The one time of year where everything in everyone’s lives gets pushed to the side, studying is the only priority, and stress levels average around eleven. Deadlines loom, professors punish and the workload is unfathomable. Add to that the stress of the holidays and/or graduation, and you’re faced with the prospect of a ton of family time and this equals tension at maximum high. So where’s the silver lining on this horrible, crap-cake period of the semester?

The time to bang is nigh. High running tension is a double-edged sword that can work to your advantage. The person who knows how stressed you are about that final is sitting right beside you during class time. And they’re stressed too. So who’s to say what happens when a late-night-study-session ends up with a little tequila and a lot of (ahem) stress management. If you’re desperate to study freakonomics without dealing with math, or want to practise body language with that exchange student whose departure is imminent, cram time is your moment.

Arrange a study session, and then plan like hell for the move you’ll make during your study break. Plus, it’s the end of the semester so you can determine how much time you spend with them after you get freaky. This is a win-win that will only turn into a loss if you let it—by missing the opportunity all together. If you’re worried about the possibility of rejection (and that rejection fucking up your focus) just wait until after the exam is over and then invite them for a celebratory drink at your place. Alone. Without underpants.

So now, at the start of the semester, is when you have to start laying the groundwork. They’re hot, they’re available, and you’re spending more time flirting than studying. Keep your pants on and your hands to yourself until finals are upon you.