Gruel from school: University of Victoria restaurant reviews

Humour Stories | Satire

The Lab eatery
Score: 1 / 5

HUMOUR—Just recently I made a trip down to a restaurant on campus called “The Lab.” I have many friends who are always talking about it, and I figured it was time for me to try this place out for myself. My first impression was that it was a rather clean space—both in appearance and smell. Food was laid out on the table in a buffet style. The seating was limited and somewhat uncomfortable, but that was not the worst part of it. The food didn’t look terribly appetizing, and the first item I tried was an apple dish. The apple was squishy, and I suspect pieces of it had gone bad. I tried to flag down a waiter to inform them of this and was yelled at and assaulted. They forcefully removed me from the premises simply for informing them that they had accidently served me a rotten fruit. I returned the next day, hoping I would receive better service. I didn’t. I tried a different dish—some form of meat—and it was just as bad as the apple. It was dry and tough and tasted somewhat of bleach. I now write this review from a hospital bed due to serious stomach pains. This is my warning to others. Do not go to The Lab. They only serve death stew.