The Student Bawdy: For your viewing pleasure

Sports | Lifestyle

Porn, in my opinion, has always been a good thing — even in my adolescent years, when I utilized my new-found ability to clear search history in the hours when I was left at home alone. Yes, at the time I thought it was shameful. But that’s part of what makes porn so awesome.

Even now, in the midst of my extremely liberal lifestyle, I occasionally get a surprised look when I utter the words, “I love porn.” Maybe it’s because I’m a female, maybe it’s because not everybody is a pervert — but the bottom line is: I love it and am not ashamed to say so.

Like everything on the Internet, there are good parts and not-so-good parts. As a woman in full support of gender equality, I am aware of the most glaringly obvious problem in porn — its portrayal of women. This is a hot-button topic that raises a lot of good points, many with which I agree, but I still maintain that you can be a feminist and like to get dominated.

And with that I hear the roars of many a strong-minded individual chanting to take me to the gallows. I’m not saying that every girl in a five-minute dirty short on Porn Hub is a strong-willed lady engaging in consensual domination, but I’m allowed to dig the ones who are.

However, porn, like reality television, is fantasy. You or people you’ve slept with may be under the delusion that sex should be a re-enactment of that Sasha Grey video you saw recently. This is a fallacy, one which will undoubtedly be accompanied by disappointment. Porn is, in many ways, a great companion to sex. It can give you new ideas or can even be included in your trysts as an exciting prop. But like reality television, porn is generally not to be emulated. At least, not without a conversation first, because chances are the shit you’ve seen and want to try requires at least that.

The reason I love porn so much is because it’s the ultimate example of humanity’s natural need for community. When describing the technological progress embodied by the Internet, phrases like “connecting people across the globe” and “global community” get thrown around a lot. Porn is the perfect model of these phrases. You can have a fetish so obscure that it hasn’t even crossed most people’s minds, and yet somebody on the Internet totally gets it. Seriously, anything you can imagine, including things that are seemingly non-sexual, can be found on the webs. Even, say, bearded men wearing children’s dinosaur costumes and licking spoons — if you look hard enough, it’ll be there.

Maybe it’s just me, but isn’t that freakin’ beautiful? Until the late 20th century, people felt the need to hide the freaky-ass things that made them happy, and now anybody can find a community full of accepting peers who get horny at the idea of spoon-licking.

And that, my friends, is why I love porn. Because it’s about human connection — even if it’s just with your own hand.