Top 5 places to have discreet and meaningful conversations on campus

Humour Stories | Satire

It’s no surprise that university is an important time in the development of young adults. Most of us are living on our own for the first time and dealing with the responsibilities this entails. We’re meeting really cool people and learning that we’re free to do things with our time that we couldn’t do before.

There are a lot of hormones flying around, and we all know what that means — students spend a lot of time having private and important, even philosophical, conversations with one another.

Most of us have these conversations in res rooms or at home, but there are some people who spend so much time at university that they have no choice but to have these intimate discussions around and about on campus. If that’s the case, you’re going to want somewhere secluded, away from prying eyes and ears. Here are my suggestions for the top places at UVic to have personal and intimate dialogues.

ECS Lecture Halls

If it’s late at night, these lecture halls are usually nice, quiet, and empty. Located in a pretty untravelled part of campus, you and your companion can definitely find a nook below a row of seats and talk about whatever confidential and intimate topics you both have on your minds.

Finnerty Gardens

Some exchanges are too steamy to be kept inside. In that case, try the Finnerty Gardens. On a warm summer night, you can partake in meaningful correspondence under the stars. Be careful, though. The Finnerty Gardens are located right beside the Interfaith Chapel, so please make sure your hot and heavy dialogue isn’t ungodly. The Martlet is not liable for any smiting that may take place.

A great place to have se — uh, conversations. Yeah. Conversations. Photo by Cormac O’Brien, editor-in-chief

Third floor Library stacks

This suggestion is not for the faint of heart. The stacks definitely allow for some spots away from public supervision, but the quiet floor restrictions means you’re going to have to have a pretty hushed discussion. This is a great place for a quick debate or some head-scratching riddles — maybe save the big, philosophical stuff for somewhere that doesn’t close at 11 p.m.

Clearihue 4th Floor B-Wing

Have you ever been here? Most people haven’t, which is what makes it the perfect place to grab a special friend, take off that jacket, and engage in a substantial and discreet debate. This is definitely an after-hours location — you don’t want to accidentally be interrupted by a Greek and Roman Studies class when you’re exchanging eloquent dialogue.

Cornett Showers

These showers are one of many mythical places on campus — I’ve heard it exists but never seen it myself. It’s in Cornett, though, so it’s not like you can blame me. Bring snacks if you and your conversation partner go to find it. If you do, find a stall and use the sound of running water to make sure nobody hears the intimate details of your discussion.

There you have it. Our totally pure and innocent list of good places on campus to have private conversations. Let us know if you have your own secluded spots to have uninterrupted discussions — you can never have too many meaningful and intimate exchanges.

Whichever place you choose for your discreet correspondence, though, make sure you use protection — earplugs help save your eardrums from any damage if your conversations ever get a little bit too loud.