Gruel from school: University of Victoria restaurant reviews

Humour Stories | Satire

UVic Centre Cafeteria
Score: 1 / 5

HUMOUR—I went to get some lunch at the Centre Cafeteria yesterday and found it extremely inconvenient. Just to get to the entrance of the cafeteria I had to climb over an eight-foot-tall fence, and then dodge dump trucks and other forms of heavy machinery. I feel this is a lot of work to simply get some waffle fries.

When I finally managed to get to the door, I found it locked. It took me another 15 minutes to pick the lock, all whilst being harassed by multiple men in construction helmets who kept telling me I wasn’t allowed to go inside, and I found this offensive; this is a free country, and I can go where I want. I finally got in and was hit with a mouthful of dust. Really, I would have thought that a university restaurant could do a better job of dusting. This was atrocious. The entire cafeteria appeared to be in disarray, and I couldn’t find anywhere to sit minus an empty box. However, the construction-themed dining room had a pleasing rustic ambience.

Sitting on this fairly uncomfortable box, I waited for a server to come by. Already running tight on time (having been held up by the difficulties of accessing this establishment), I decided to see if I could order food at the counter. Met at the counter by two more men in construction uniforms, I was informed that they didn’t serve food. Now I ask, what kind of cafeteria doesn’t serve food?! After I asked these burly waiters exactly that question, I was forcibly made to leave. Understandably, I do not recommend dining in this establishment.