Posts Categorized: Humour

This is the ONLY way to live in Victoria!

Local news staff discovers ways to cut down on rent that landlords will HATE! Everyone knows that the Victoria housing market is causing many aspiring and current residents to contemplate new and innovative ways to save funds and cut down on costs. Martlet staff are no exception to this, and have made the recent decision… Read more »

Breaking: Campus food found to be abnormally good

“This is not what I ordered” One of the most important parts of owning and operating a restaurant is ensuring consistency and adherence to brand normalcy. In the same way that chain restaurants insist on having identical food served at restaurants in different provinces or countries, UVic Food Services hope that customers won’t be able… Read more »

A freshperson’s UVic survival guide

Your all-in-one manual that’ll keep you savvy around seasoned UVicers Fresh off the Ferry? Attempting to satiate your parents’ shockingly high expectations by half-assing a social sciences degree? Gave up on your musical ambitions? However you came to UVic, it’s important to stay vigilant on campus. Here’s how to get by. Food Rabbits At first,… Read more »

UVSS Board considering embezzling money to raise student awareness of union

“If it worked for the SFUO, why can’t it work for us?” Late last week, shocking allegations were levelled at members of the University of Ottawa’s student union (SFUO), as two university newspapers reported that both the SFUO president and executive director had transferred $20 000 of student union money into a private business account. The… Read more »

Elon Musk vows to tackle Canada–US relations

Canadian pop-art musician Grimes is expected to aid Musk in the coming discussions Elon Musk, the uncle of Peter Thiel, has gained something a cult following in the past few years due to the billionaire’s eccentricity and character resemblance to fictional superheroes. Musk has often been compared to a real-life Robert Downey Jr. — a comparison not… Read more »

Canada Day voted best national holiday by Settlers’ Magazine

Finally, our country made it onto a list that has nothing to do with drinking water advisories Settlers’ Magazine, a publishing organization known for their motto, “Well I think the border should be over here,” has once again released their international top three national holidays for the year, and our very own Canada graces the… Read more »

Clam calamity

The Martlet reaches out to marine life in Victoria poisoned by SSRIs and other medications We have all heard the saying “happy as a clam,” but we could never really measure how happy mollusks were until high doses of antidepressants began showing up in their nervous system. According to the CRD, these clams have been… Read more »

Now I am become bees, destroyer of clock

Tick-tock, Jamie Cassels. Tick. Tock. Clearihue Clock was first installed in 1963, when the building was unveiled to the public. Nowadays, students might not notice the clock because they have one on their phone, laptop, or tablet, but the clock tower has stopped working. We contacted the university for their official answer. Ron Proulx, Executive… Read more »