Posts Categorized: Humour

Tensions high as Ring Road standoff enters 45th hour

Onlookers are beginning to worry as a standoff between a student trying to cross Ring Road and a car enters its 45th hour. Various members of the gathered crowd confirmed that the two got stuck at around 8:30 a.m. on May the 9th, and that the past two days had been filled with passive aggressive… Read more »

Nutrition, flavour, and other wonders to be found in residence meals

In light of recent events, the Martlet has found it pertinent to update previous statements regarding UVic’s Food Services. Reports now show campus food to not only be entirely reliable and safe for mass ingestion, but also just about the healthiest cuisine available on Vancouver Island. Vegetarian, pescetarian, and vegan options are overwhelming. Village Greens… Read more »

International students thrilled at prospect of tuition hikes

According to a recent poll commissioned by the UVic Board of Governors, 97 per cent of UVic’s international students reported feeling “moderately excited to completely thrilled” about the increase in their tuition fees. The remaining three per cent of students were seen being shuffled into a Degrees Catering van, described by various sources as having… Read more »