Physical in physics

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n the best possible university scenario, classes should be the best part of your day. Whether or not they actually are is another matter. Here’s the thing about classes: classes are great. Classes are cool. In classes, you get to sit with a bunch of like-minded individuals and talk about a really specific facet of the world and all of its consequences.

You make friends at classes, and they are led by someone who is supposedly an expert on the subject that you’re interested in; however, what happens when the person sitting next to you, in your either super-wonderful or, alternately, absolutely-boring-as-hell class, is attractive? Attractive in a throw-them-over-your-desk-and-make-them-see-God kind of way.

Obviously you’re sort of bound to develop a crush on at least one person in one of your classes at some point during your higher education. Think about it: you both care about a subject, and you both care about it enough to actually pay money to pursue it. Smart people are sexy as hell. Plus, you’re forced into a situation where you have to see each other for hours at a time each week.

Even if it’s just hormones, of course you want to jump them. It’s human nature. They’re smart and sexy, and when you have to see them often, it’s the meanest kind of temptation. Which is why, in the beginnings of a semester, even if you don’t intend to pursue anything long term, it’s only natural to want to jump into bed with your lab partner and show them all the parts of your human anatomy.

However, this is problematic for several reasons. Sure, it may be tempting at first when the person is all shiny and new in your life, but that whole thing about having to see each other every week works both ways. Which poses the question: if I’ve seen your genitals, do I still get to sit next to you in biology tomorrow?

Once you’ve unwrapped your classmate and brought them to the peak of climax (hopefully—you may be doing it wrong) you still have to see this person every damn week.  This means that partner exercises and group projects just got a whole new element of awkward added to them. Trust me: once you’ve been underwhelmed by what someone’s packing, it’s really hard to go back to playful banter.

And this doesn’t just end with the semester, because if you’re in the same class, there’s a good chance you’re pursuing the same degree. Which means that your four minutes in heaven might have just signed you up for four years of oh-no-it’s-okay-I’ll-just-sit-in-the-back. This by no means is advice for you to not get down and dirty with someone who intrigues you with their huge brain. But please, just keep in mind that you might get more than you bargained for. Or less. And isn’t that worse?

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